The Making Of Severus Snape
by keaneplay
Summary: My take on Severus Snape's life, through the epic journey he took, right up until his death in DH. Kind of an extended version on 'The Prince's Tale' from Sev's point of view. On Hiatus.
1. The Day Of No Return

It was over

**A/N Well here it is, my first chapter of the epic tale of Severus Snape's life! **

Severus Snape was sat all alone in his dorm. Had he really just done what he thought he'd done? Yes he and Lily had been fighting a lot lately, but that did not excuse him calling her that _awful___name. Nobody deserved to be called that, nobody at all, let alone her – she was the most clever, most lovely, most beautiful witch, he had ever had the good fortune to meet.

Why oh why had he called her that – had he really just destroyed his one and only bright light in a world full of darkness and despair?

"_She'll forgive me, I know she will… she's always been there for me, why would this change anything?_" he thought, though he couldn't help but doubt himself, had he really gone too far?

It was nearly curfew but Severus decided that it would be much better to go and talk with her now, rather than wait until tomorrow.

"Who knows what her '_friends' _are telling her," he thought, as he marched down the staircase and out of the portrait hole.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

It didn't take him long to reach the seventh floor, he knew that he couldn't get into Gryffindor tower as he didn't know the password. The only choice he had was to wait for one of the Gryffindors to come and open the portrait for him.

Nearly ten minutes passed before somebody came along the corridor and approached the portrait of, as Snape called it, 'that ridiculously fat woman.' As they drew clearer, he realised that it was Remus Lupin – the Werewolf. Not wanting to be seen, he withdrew into the shadows.

"Hey, Remus, wait up!" Severus looked around quickly and saw that it was Mary MacDonald, Lily's best friend.

"Hello Mary, how's Lily feeling?" said Lupin, a serious expression on his tired looking face. Severus couldn't hold in his snort. Lupin and Mary both looked around, so Severus stepped out from his hiding place.

"And why would _you _care how Lily feels, _Lupin_?" he sneered.

"What do you mean by that, Snape?" replied Lupin, confusion etched upon his face.

"I don't recall you caring about anyone else, when you have your little trips through the grounds once a month with your _friends_?" Snape practically spat. Mary looked up in interest, clearly wondering what he meant by those words.

Lupin's face paled, "I think I'm going to go to bed, see you tomorrow Mary."

"Goodnight Remus," she replied. Lupin muttered the password and climbed on through, the portrait closing behind him. "What do you want, _Snape_?"

One glance at her look told him that she didn't want to talk to him at all. "I need to talk with Lily –"

"She doesn't want to talk to you!" she hissed, cutting him off before he could finish.

"Go and get her, I know she'll listen – I didn't mean – I –"

"She said to tell you no – no mater what you say! She doesn't want to talk to you!"

Snape hesitated a little before saying, "If you don't go and get her, I'll – I'll stay here all night – I'll go to sleep right here, _please _–'

Mary, surprised by Snape's obvious desperation, turned round without a word and walked through the portrait hole, not once glancing back at him.

"_What have I done, why is she being so stubborn…_" he thought sadly. "_Might as well stay here, don't want to go back and see Avery and Mulciber, they're just going to laugh at me…" _He sat down on the floor, back where he had hidden earlier. "_Please Lily, talk to me,_" he thought desperately.

Then, without warning, the portrait of the Fat Lady slammed open. There stood Lily Evans, wearing a dressing gown, one glance up at her face told Severus that she had been crying, though right now she had a face of thunder with her arms crossed squarely across her chest.

"I'm sorry," he said, as calmly as he could, given the circumstances.

"I'm not interested," she replied, staring at him in the eye, with a coldness he had never seen before.

"I'm sorry!" he cried, realising that this apology was not going to be as easy as he had anticipated.

"Save your breath." Again she had that look of deep disgust on her face – it scared him more than anything in his life. He had been through a lot at home, but those things he had gotten used to, he had always been able to rely on Lily for support – this time he was on his own. "I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just –"

"Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious Death Eater friends – you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

"_I don't care about that, I care about you – they can go to hell for all I care – I want you to see me like I see you," _he thought,_ "I so want to tell you but, how?" _He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking.

"I can't pretend any more. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine." She had that look that told him she wasn't going to change her mind – Snape knew from experience that once a Gryffindor had their mind set on something; they were never going to change it, no matter what was said.

'No – listen, I didn't mean –' he tried to explain, as she had so obviously misunderstood his silence for an admission of what she had just accused him of, when in reality he was not set on anything, except the fact that he couldn't, just couldn't lose her like this.

While he continued to struggle for the right words, she cut across him, "What you didn't mean to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

"_Tell her now! Tell her you Love her! Do it now, before it's too late – quick she's going to go!" _He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole.

"Noooooo!! Lily – I – I love you!" he whispered, praying that she had heard him. After a minute or two, he accepted that she hadn't heard him and his heart sank. "_There's no way she's going to come back out tonight – I might as well sleep here and talk to her in the morning…" _that was his last thought before curling up on the hard floor and going to sleep.

**A/N Thanks for reading chapter 1. As you could see, some of Sev and Lily's interaction is from 'The Prince's Tale' I have simply added in more information, as it is from Sev's point of view… I hope it's believable!**

**Read it and tell me what you think – be honest, I don't mind if you love it, hate it or whatever, just give me some feedback please! I hope to keep updating the story as it comes to me – I am really in the mood at the moment!**


	2. A Rough Night

It was over

**A/N Here is chapter 2, this time it's all my own work, no help from Deathly Hallows – a hope you like it as much as chapter 1… It picks up right after the end of chapter 1…**

"Ouch! What on Earth are you doing!" cried Severus, jumping to his feet immediately.

"Out of bed past curfew? Why I ought to give you detention young man!" It was Professor McGonagall, the head of Lily's house and not somebody you'd like to be caught breaking school rules by.

"I was sleeping – _obviously, _can't you see?" he knew he shouldn't have said it, but at that moment in time he didn't care – nothing could be worse than what had already happened.

"That's it Mr Snape, come with me at once!" Severus had never seen her so angry. He wondered where he being taken – since they were not heading to her office.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"I'm sorry to wake you Horace, but I just found Mr Snape here, outside of the _Gryffindor_ Common Room. As you know, curfew was over _four _hours ago!" Professor McGonagall had marched him all the way to Slughorn's office, without saying a word, just throwing looks of displeasure at him every so often – probably because of his attitude, more than actually being out of bounds.

"Mr Snape, can you explain yourself?" he replied, somewhat surprised as Snape wasn't one to be caught breaking school rules. "What were you doing on the seventh floor, at this time of night?" McGonagall left the office and closed the door behind her.

"I was – was sleeping…" he muttered somewhat pathetically – he wasn't going to tell them_ why_ he had really been outside of Gryffindor Tower.

"Be that as it may, why were you sleeping up there?" he persisted.

"I was trying to talk to somebody, but they wouldn't listen –" he started, but was immediately cut off.

"Was it Miss Evans that you were trying to talk to?" he asked, with a knowing look in his eyes.

"I'm not telling you who – that is none of your business!" Snape knew it was doing him no good to argue, but it made him feel – somewhat empowered – to be able to do something, anything to take away the pain of Lily's rejection.

"In that case Mr Snape, I will have to deduct Slytherin house 25 House Points and give you detention every night for two weeks."

Snape bit his tongue, there were many things he wanted to say to the stupid man, but even he realised that there was just no point in getting into more trouble. "Whatever you say Professor," he answered, somewhat awkwardly.

It seemed like Slughorn wanted to say more but he changed his mind and sent Severus to bed. "_He probably can't wait to go back and get into bed; it is gone past one in the morning!_" Severus walked all the way back to the Slytherin Common Room and climbed straight up the spiralling staircase.

"Where've you been, Snape?" said a rough voice.

"Yeah, we've been meaning to congratulate you – you've done us proud!" said another person.

"I don't want to talk about it now, I'm going to bed –" he began but once again he was cut off.

"I'm telling you to speak – or I'll do that same curse on you as I did last week – remember that, Snape?" Severus most certainly did remember that – Mulciber had used one of the three unforgivable's on him – the Cruciatus curse.

**(Cue Flashback)**

"_Oi Snape, get over here!" yelled Mulciber. He was standing outside, near the Forbidden Forest, clutching his wand tightly._

"_What do you want Mulciber?" said Snape, as quietly as possible – Lily was nearby and he didn't want her to see him with Mulciber – especially after what happened to Mary a few days ago._

"_I just got taught a new spell by me dad, I want to see how good it is."_

"_So? Why do you need me? Can't you do it on your own?" he asked, annoyance etched all over his face. He knew what Mulciber's dad was up to – he was a fully fledged Death Eater, it was one of the least guarded secrets of the Slytherin Common Room._

"_I need someone to test it on – I was thinking of using one of those girls –"_

"_What girls…" indifference apparent on his face, although inside he was praying that it wasn't the group containing Lily. He glanced over at her, Mulciber noticed and an evil grin spread across his face._

"_That one over there – with the red hair –" he pointed his wand at her and started to wave it._

"_NOOOO!! I WON'T LET YOU!!" he bellowed, catching everybody's attention. Mulciber lowered his wand. Lily looked at him, puzzled._

"_I'll get you for that, Snape." He whispered. Boy did he mean it._

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

_Snape climbed through the hole in the wall, thinking about the latest spell he was trying to create, when somebody shouted, "CRUCIO!" Snape fell to the ground in agony, this was pain he had never felt before._

"_Ha, I've done it – it really does work! This is going to be so useful when we get out of this dump!" Mulciber was practically dancing at his achievement in cursing Snape._

_Severus gingerly got to his feet and tried to go upstairs._

"_Not so fast Snape, I'm not done with you yet!" he took a deep breath and muttered something. Small cuts appeared all over Sev's body, blood gushed from a particularly deep gash on his left arm. _

"_Leave me alone, Mulciber! I'll get you for this!" Mulciber just laughed as he stepped on Sev's fallen body and proceeded up the stairs. "_Lily's right, these animals don't care about anyone, they're fricking out of their minds_!" he thought as he set about tending his wounds._

**(End of Flashback)**

"I hope you know where your _loyalties _lie Snape – there can only be one winner, after this war's over and we all know who that's going to be!" Mulciber said maliciously.

"Hmmm… Whatever, I'm going to bed –" replied Severus, wishing Mulciber would just leave him be.

"I'll be watching you, Snape – Malfoy thinks that you would be a useful asset to the Dark Lord – let's hope you don't throw all that away, for a _Mudblood _–"

"SHUT UP!" he had enough, "SECTUMSEMPRA!" he bellowed, not knowing the full extent of what the spell could do. To his horror, blood gushed from Mulciber's chest, arms and face – he had cut him up, like a piece of carcass from the butchers. "_What have I done?" _was the last coherent thought before he rushed out of the common room to get Slughorn…

**A/N There you have it, chapter 2 of my 'Making of Severus Snape' Fic. Please tell me where I could improve, I need your feedback, it really does help me to decide where I'm going to go with the storyline and also the way I write the actual FanFic.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed before, it really does inspire me to keep going. I am one of those people who lose interest VERY quick. If I don't update within a couple of weeks, bombard me with PM's, TELLING me to write more – seriously, that is the way to get me to do it :)**

**Saying that, I am going on holiday soon, so I don't expect to write more until August – sorry! I promise I'll pick it back up then. In the mean time, I'll keep trying to convert my notes into something worthy of posting.**

**Bye!**

**- keaneplay - (Matt)**


	3. An unlikely ally?

It was over

**A/N **

**This chapter is dedicated to GinnyW365 (thanks for the list of names!) – I've updated before going on holiday just for you :) **

"_SHUT UP!" he had had enough, "SECTUMSEMPRA!" he bellowed, not knowing the full extent of what the spell could do. To his horror, blood gushed from Mulciber's chest, arms and face – he had cut him up, like a piece of carcass from the butchers. "_What have I done?"_ was the last coherent thought before he rushed out of the common room to get Slughorn…_

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"What are you doing now Mr Snape? I thought I told you to go to bed –" started Slughorn, before being cut off by an increasingly desperate Snape.

"Quick Professor, there's been an – an accident – in the Common Room!" he stuttered, leading his head of house down into the dungeons. It didn't take Severus long to reach the common room, though the same couldn't be said of Slughorn – his huge belly was obviously not the most helpful thing in the world when it came to running.

"By Merlin! What on Earth happened to him?" said a clearly horror struck Slughorn when he finally arrived. He was looking at the severe wounds on Mulciber's body in disbelief; obviously he had never seen anything like that happen at Hogwarts before. Mulciber was still bleeding profusely. Slughorn immediately started to try and heal up the wounds. However the wounds were simply reopening again.

Severus was becoming increasingly uncomfortable; he knew it wouldn't take Slughorn long to piece two and two together. "Um… Professor, I think I can –"

"How did this happen – what could have done such a thing to him?" asked Slughorn, cutting Severus off mid sentence.

"I think I can help to heal him –" he started to say, but again was cut short.

"Go upstairs and wake Mr Malfoy immediately. We need him to go and get Poppy."

Severus immediately went upstairs to wake up the Slytherin prefect. It didn't take them long to rush back downstairs into the Common Room. Lucius Malfoy took one glance at Mulciber's body before turning to the head of Slytherin.

"Should I go and get Madaam Pomfey sir?" he asked curtly.

"Yes Lucius, that would be for the best – do hurry, Mr Mulciber can not afford to lose much more blood –"

Malfoy raced out of the portrait hole, but not before taking a curious glance at Severus. This made Severus more uncomfortable, as he could tell that Lucius had an idea of what had happened.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Less than five minutes later, Madaam Pomfrey and Malfoy came running into the Common Room. She took one look at the state of Mulciber before going over to his body and muttering all sorts of strange words. They seemed almost sing-song like, but nevertheless, Mulciber's wounds began to heal – it was as if she was sowing the skin back together. Severus made a mental note to learn that spell in the future – if he wasn't expelled first.

When all of the wounds had been healed, she asked the question Severus didn't want to hear, "What kind of spell could cause such a wound?" she looked at Malfoy and Severus, perhaps with a look of distrust or maybe even disgust, he couldn't tell. She then levitated Mulciber and left for the hospital ward. Slughorn looked at him with a look that told him that he better have a good explanation.

"I did it Professor –"

"WHAT! You did this – but how? We don't teach you anything that can cause this sort of damage at school –" he looked shocked beyond all belief. '_Severus breaking two school rules in a day? Something is not right…_" he thought.

"It was my own spell sir – I didn't mean to use it like that though – it was supposed to be for potions – you know cutting up herbs and stuff – I just lost my head, Mulciber was winding me up – he called Lily Evans a – a _Mudblood _–"looking at it now, he realised that he was no better – hadn't he called Lily that too?

"Be that as it may, what you've done will have serious repercussions." Snape bowed his head in shame. The look on his face was confusing – on one hand he looked deeply ashamed, but he also looked like he was a broken man. Nobody had ever seen Severus look like that before.

"Sir, can I say something?" Malfoy's voice seemed to startle both Severus and Slughorn, they had both forgotten that he was there.

"Go ahead Mr Malfoy."

"It wasn't only Snape's fault – I heard what Mulciber was saying to him –" Severus jaw dropped – someone sticking up for him? Now that was something new… "none the less, I think that Snape should get punished, but he doesn't deserve to be expelled, it wasn't just his fault." Severus just gaped at Malfoy.

"I will decide tomorrow on a suitable punishment, thank you for your information" replied Slughorn before getting up and turning to leave the Common Room, "I suggest you both go to bed now."

"Yes sir" they both called as he left.

"Why did you just cover for me?" Sev couldn't help but ask the prefect.

"I think that you could be an asset for the Dark Lord, so it wouldn't do for you to be expelled –" Malfoy was looking at Snape with a new kind of respect. It was obvious that he was in awe at the effect of Sev's spell.

"I'm going to bed, it's probably my last night anyway – Dumbledore's never going to let me stay after that…" he climbed up the staircase and finally hit the bed.

All night he was plagued by dreams, every one of them involving Lily, Sectumsempra, Potter or Voldemort.

**A/N**

**Sorry about this chapter, it's kind of a monologue, but it will get better I promise! The next one will conclude the 5****th**** year (of Sev and Lily's year) and show the change in their relationship. (It's only going to get sadder and sadder, like the Prince's Tale does)**

**I know I said it last time, but I won't be updating until August – my holiday draws ever nearer – I never thought I'd say this but, it's a bummer having to stop my progress on the story for something as trivial as a holiday, but that's life…**

**Thanks to my reviewers, though there aren't many of you :(**

**Oh well, those that do review, I can't thank you enough!**


	4. The Beginning Of The End?

**A/N**

**I know that one, I haven't updated in like a year and two, I just announced that my Fic's were on Hiatus but here is (an unexpected) update for 'The Making Of Severus Snape'**

It had been nearly a week and still Severus had not spoken a single word with Lily. The meeting with Professor Dumbledore had gone surprisingly well – he hadn't been expelled at least, though Severus felt rather awkward when he was exposed to the headmaster's intense stare, it was almost like he was being x-rayed.

The disappointed look that Dumbledore had given him still haunted Severus in his sleep; mainly because that was the way he imagined Lily would look at him if he had the nerve to find her and talk to her. The truth was that he was too afraid to face her, it was better to delude himself that he had a chance of reconciliation with Lily, rather than face up to the truth that he had pushed her away for good…

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Hey! Snape! Come sit with us, there's no point sitting alone in there, is there?" Severus got up out of his lonely compartment and reluctantly followed Avery into the compartment at the very end of the train.

"So glad you could join us Severus" drawled Lucius Malfoy in his patronizing voice.

"Hello to you too Lucius" replied Sev, deliberately trying to impose himself in front of the crowd of Slytherin's.

Chorus' of "Good one Snape!" and "See what did I tell you?" rang out between the Slytherin's. It seemed to Severus that they were actually quite impressed with the way he was acting.

"As you are all aware, everybody present in this compartment has been hand selected by me because I have the belief that you will prove _useful _for our, how shall I put it? Inspirational leader" Malfoy looked around at each person, gauging their reaction. "It pleasure's me to announce that now that I am leaving Hogwarts for good, I have already been offered a place to work with yours truly!"

The crowd of Slytherin's began to murmur amongst themselves but Severus carefully kept his shock at this announcement hidden behind the mask that he had perfected over the last five years. _I'm not ready to join Voldemort when I leave Hogwarts! There are so many things that I want to accomplish, how will I be able to do that if I'm serving him? What about Lily?_

"Before I forget, Severus what was that spell that you used on Mulciber? I've never seen anything like that before – where did you learn it?" asked Malfoy, careful to hide the greed that was threatening to show across the handsome features of his face.

"I created that myself, it's called Sectumsempra…" began Severus but he was rudely cut off by Avery.

"Snape is ALWAYS making up new spells – in fact I always see him writing down loads of stuff in his Potions book. I bet there are loads in there!"

"For your information Avery, my Potions book is full of _Potions _notes, nothing more" lied Severus. He didn't think it wise that so many people learn the kind of spells he had been perfecting. If there was one thing he had learned from the 'incident' it was to never use his Potions spells against people again. "However I do know this other spell that might prove useful. It creates a buzzing noise all around you, allowing you to talk in peace – without the fear of being overheard…"

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Several hours later, the Hogwarts Express pulled up at King's Cross station. "So we'll have a get together in a couple of weeks at mine, okay everyone?" A chorus of yes' greeted Malfoy's question. "See you soon then – hello father, how are you?" Malfoy's mother and father had come to the station to pick up their son. Suddenly Severus realized that he had no way of getting back to Spinner's End. With no Lily to ask her parents to drive him he was stuck. He had no money, so couldn't take the Knight Bus and no Floo Powder to take the nearest Grate. _How did I let things come to this? _he thought. _Guess I have no choice…_

**A/N**

**I'm guessing that this chapter is probably full of grammatical inconsistencies, spelling mistakes and what not, but at least I updated right? If you are wondering why I suddenly updated, it's mainly because I feel/felt really depressed and for some reason this is the way I decided to express myself. I guess when I feel happier I'll probably update my other Fic 'The Way Things Were Meant To Be' **

**Also sorry that there isn't any Lily in this chapter – I just couldn't get into the mindset of how she would react – I guess that's something I'll have in the next chapter or two…**

**Thankyou to anyone who's still bothering to read this Fic after all this time – I am really really sorry that I'm taking so long to update…**

**Finally please review, it might help me to feel a little less upset with life…**


End file.
